Be your own advocate! As most of you know, we recently got a puppy. Well, each day, a portion of the day is spent getting to know her. What does she like, what does she not like? What is the easiest way to motivate her? When is she confrontational?
Yesterday, we had a standoff. She keeps trying to get underneath the couch in a dangerous spot. I told her no and she didn’t want to hear it. I got in her face, in about the most intimidating manner I can. She lowered her head, looked at me and growled LOL. Sounds about right. She took off for the couch again. And that moment, instead of yelling at her, even more demonstratively, I decided to ask her to come to me, gently. She stopped, noticing the difference in my tone, raised an eyebrow and an ear, and came my way. So, my puppy responds better to praise then criticism. Apparently, my puppy doesn’t scare easily. Apparently, if you want to have a battle of the wills, she is a formidable opponent. LOL was this puppy made for me in my image!? LOL
So later that day, I had a chat with my daughter and my son about the happenings with Ahimsa. I told her how much better she responds when we tell her she can. We developed a plan and an approach for acclimating Ahimsa.
At what point do we stop doing this for ourselves? When we have kids, we talk to teachers and coaches about special needs and interests for our kids. We go out of our way to try to make it a smooth day with all needs met, for our kids. Why shouldn’t I advocate for myself, in the same manner? At what point did I stop growing? At what point did I stop trying to learn and decipher what works best for Heather?
At the end of my day, I should be saying to myself things like, apparently Heather learns better when she is fed. Heather responds better, in times of need, when she has people around her. All of this useful information is advocating for myself so that I can be successful in life. Society brain says this is identifying weaknesses. It would only be a weakness if I expected myself to be an impenetrable creature. But I’m not. I am human with human vulnerabilities. So if I advocate for myself, I’ll probably be more useful, more successful- having my needs met. What a lovely idea!
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